English singer-songwriter Jessie J revealed on Wednesday, in an emotional social media post that she had a baby on the way, but lost it on Tuesday afternoon, when she was told there was no longer a heartbeat, after her third scan.
Jessie whose show “The Hotel Cafe” was set for Wednesday night shared how she had decided to have a baby on her own because it’s all she ever wanted and life is short.
“To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again,”
She described what she was dealing with as the loneliest feeling in the world. However, she feels connected to women all over the world who have felt this pain and way worse.
According to Jessie J:
Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying “seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant”.
By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down…
After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat
This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.
What I do know is that I want to sing tonight. Not because Im avoiding the grief or the process, but because I know singing tonight will help me.
I have done 2 shows in 2 years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way.
I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did it’s best.
I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer.
I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.
Im still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming.
But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok.
I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.
It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.
So I will see you tonight LA.
I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room.
The singer who began singing when she was young for “joy, to fill my soul and self-love therapy” went on to sing her heart out as she performed for 2 hours at her show where she talked more about the experience.
Watch the highlight below:
Photo Credit: @jessiej